Sometimes it gets hard to say the right words.
By kittybeaver, in 5 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.
Dirk's biceps flexed and contracted as his arm moved in long strokes up and down the front of his pants. Tina tried to be shocked and appalled by his actions, but the part of her that controlled lower brain functions found it mesmerizing.
"What are you doing?"
"Switching on video recording," Fact-Tel said. "I'm sure we'll want this for the archives."
"I was able to identify General Zero," Dirk said, his arm keeping its slow, steady pace "and follow him--"
"Dirk. Dirk!" she interrupted. "Why are you, " The shadows shifted on the front of his pants as a shape began to emerge, the shape of something large and thick. Tina licked her lips. "Why are you touching yourself?"
"It's a long story. I don't want to get into it."
"I think you have to."
He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "I told you about my dad, right?"
"Yes," Tina said. "He's a magician."
"A wizard," Dirk corrected, "and for reasons that are unimportant, he put a spell on me so I can't talk unless I have a hard-on."
She took a moment to absorb the information. "And I thought your relationship with your mother was weird."
"I should probably be in therapy," he agreed, his hand still down the front of his pants. "Back to my report. I followed General Zero from the nightclub down to the docks, where he met with a short man in a parka and then, Tina you're drooling."
"Oh, sorry." She wiped the back of her hand across her chin. "Remind me again what your mission was. I'm drawing a blank."
"Is it because I'm jerking off?" he asked.
She nodded. "It's a little, a little, actually it's a good size." She tore her eyes away from his pelvis. "Maybe you can write out your report."
"Okay," Dirk said. "I need a pen and a piece of paper."
"Wash your hands first," Fact-Tel said. It made no attempt to hide the disdain in its machine generated voice.
By the time Dirk's hands were clean, Tina had placed a pen and notebook on her desk and pulled out her chair for him to sit.
"It's much easier to think when you're not, you know, doing that," she said.
He only nodded and silently began to write.
It took several minutes for him to fill up the page, but once he was done he handed her the notebook and sat back, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Your handwriting is atrocious." Tina scanned the page. "What does this say? Tiger print motif?" She tossed the notebook back on the desk. "I can't read this. We're going to have to add penmanship to your training. In the meantime, use the computer and type your report."
"Did you clean underneath your fingernails?" Fact-Tel asked.
"Never mind that," Tina said. "We'll disinfect later, just type."
If only it was that simple. Dirk's skill set as a male-model didn't include touch typing. He pecked at the keyboard with his middle fingers. Laboriously, one letter at a time, the words began to form. Tina paced the floor behind him, drumming her fingers on her thighs.
So little was known about General Zero. They didn't even have a good description of him. If Dirk's report was thorough enough, they'd finally be able to fit together the pieces of what was undoubtedly an evil plot. Only then would they be able to formulate their own plan to stop it.
She was peering over his shoulder to see how far he'd gotten, when he started to hit the backspace button.
"No," she gasped. "Don't do that."
Dirk rocked back and forth, grinding his crotch against the desk leg for a minute before saying, "I misspelled corduroy."
That morning if someone had said to Tina, 'Tonight you're going to rip open your blouse and shove your coworker's face into your cleavage,' she would have laughed at their preposterous prediction. Now, in a moment of desperation, she did just that.
"Does this help?" she asked while she pushed Dirk's nose between her breasts.
"A ribble bi," he responded, his voice muffled by her bountiful flesh.
She pushed his head back to prevent suffocation. "Keep your eyes on these." She pointed to her boobs, certain that Dirk would be able to make out her nipples through her lacy black bra. "Fact-Tel, record audio and disable video," she called to the AI. "I repeat, disable video."
"Fine," Fact-Tel intoned. "Whatever. It's not like I get off on this sort of stuff."
Tina ignored the Artificial Intelligence and studied Dirk for a moment. "Are you going to be able to continue with your debriefing?"
"I guess," he said. His words were slow and not well articulated.
"How about now?" She started to bounce up and down on her toes. It was a subtle movement, but it was enough to send her breasts jiggling.
"Yes." His voice was strong and clear. "That is, very effective."
"Good." Tina continued to bounce. "Let's start with a description of General Zero."
Dirk happily obliged. "He's about 5'6" and approximately 165 lbs."
"What about facial features?" she asked. "Were there any identifying scars or tattoos?"
"Not that I saw?"
"How about hair and eye color?"
"Nah." His words were starting to slur. "He wore a hoodie and mirrored sunglaffies."
Tina lifted higher on her toes and dropped faster, causing her breast to bounce more. "What about skin color?"
"It was dark in the club." Dirk regained his enunciation. "The flashing lights made it hard to tell. Honestly, I'm not certain General Zero is a man."
Tina tried to nod her understanding, but it got lost in the bounces. "Until further notice Zero's pronouns will be 'they,' 'their' and 'them.'
"I followed Zero down to the docks," Dirk continued, "where they met with a short man in a parka. I know he was a man because of the unkempt facial hair and tacky fedora."
"It's midsummer," she said, thinking out loud. "Why was he wearing a parka?"
"I ohn't gnow."
Without putting much thought into it, Tina began to bounce even harder, but by this time her movements were so violent Dirk actually pushed his chair back and put his hands up to protect his face.
"Fine, fine." She stopped bouncing and spoke in a calming voice. "We'll try something else." Then she reached behind her back and undid the clasp on her bra. The straps slid off her shoulders and the bra fell to the floor, leaving Tina quite topless. She could feel her nipples harden as an air-conditioned breeze brushed passed them. "Did Zero and the parka man do anything other than talk?"
Dirk tilted his head from one side to the other and a dreamy smile spread across his face. "Yeah. Crates were being offloaded from a ship onto a truck. Parka man opened one of the crates for Zero to inspect."
Tina placed her hand on the desk and leaned forward. "Now we're getting somewhere."
"We certainly are," Dirk sighed. "Can I touch them?"
She rolled her eyes. "Keep it professional, Agent Allen."
"Sorry." He sat up straight and clenched his hands into fists in his lap.
"Were you able to ascertain what was in the crates?"
"Esh, des amps"
Tina rolled her eyes again, then she grabbed Dirk's hands and not so gently placed them against her breasts.
The weight of Tina's breasts settled nicely onto Dirk's palms. There was something so pure about squeezing her soft, warm flesh. It was calming, yet stimulating. It sent him right to his happy place and definitely helped him pop a chub.
"The crates," she said.
"Right." Dirk said, his words mumbled more from shame than anything else.
He was ricocheting back and forth between euphoria and embarrassment. If he didn't have to think about why he was cupping Tina's boobs, then he could really enjoy it. Yet, when he thought about what his father had done to him, how ashamed and infuriated he felt, well, it was enough to squash any man's pocket rocket. Still, he was an agent-in-training and he had a duty.
"Desk lamps," he said. "There were desk lamps in the crates. High quality, I think. There were tiger stripes on the lamp shades."
She straightened her back slightly, forcing Dirk to extend his arms a couple inches so he could keep hold of the goods. "You really did write Tiger Print Motif?"
He nodded. "I'm working on making my vocabulary, you know, "
"Bigger?"
"That's it."
"But why the lamps?" Tina shifted her weight from one hip to the other. "And why the man in the parka?"
"Can you stop squirming so much?" Dirk asked. "It's hard for me to cop a feel."
She gave him one of her disapproving stares that made him shrivel inside. "I can't think if I have to hold still. I need to pace back and forth to figure this thing out." She took a step back, pulling away from his grasp. "It's better if you stay quiet for right now."
Dirk's hands felt cold and empty, but at least he still had a nice view. Tina hadn't remembered to put her blouse back on and she was wearing a pair of finely tailored black pants. They hugged her thighs and stretched across her plump ass. The farther she moved away from him, the more of her he could take in at once.
"We don't know much about General Zero," she was saying as she moved across the floor in her knee high boots, "just that they're raising funds for some dastardly plan."
His eyes traced the curve of her spine, from her shoulder blades down to the dimples peeking out of her trousers' waistband. Dirk appreciated the slope of her hips and the radiance of her pale skin. He found himself nodding in agreement to every step she took, as if her very movement was a statement of fact that couldn't be denied.
"The question is, are the lamps part of the financing or part of the plan?" She pivoted on her heels and was suddenly facing him again. He didn't mind. Her front side was just as entertaining as her back.
"It depends," he said as his eyes happily traced a triangle between her nipples and her bellybutton, "on what they're smuggling in the lamps."
"What?" She stopped walking. "You can still talk?"
It occurred to Dirk that a professional secret agent would not objectify his partner's body while she was trying to unravel a nefarious plan. He would, instead, look up statistics and make calculations in order to help solve the puzzle. The fact that Dirk was still pitching a tent made it obvious he wasn't being professional.
"I'm sawffy," he tried to say. The shame of his perversion was already softening his resolve.
"No. No." In three quick steps Tina was across the room, leaning over him and vigorously rubbing his groin. "There was something in the lamps?"
"Oh God." His eyes drifted shut as he sunk down in his chair.
"Finish the thought, Dirk," Tina commanded. "There was something in the lamps."
"Maybe," he moaned. "Zero looked inside one. Why else would they do that unless, Oh yeah, Baby, you're so beautiful." If only she would unzip his fly and free him. He longed to feel skin to skin contact.
"Did they only look inside the lamp" she asked, her arm keeping a consistent pace, "or did they do more, like sniff it?"
"They touched it," he said, "then rubbed their fingers together." The pressure was building in his throbbing Johnson. His balls ached. Dirk needed release. There, in front of him, were Tina's naked breasts. They would look so good with a pearl necklace. "Squeeze me tighter. Bring me home."
"No." Tina's gripped noticeably loosened. "You can't climax. Once you ejaculate you won't be able to speak again for 20 minutes to an hour."
"It wouldn't be that long," Dirk protested. "Five minutes top. Please. If I don't cum soon it's going to be a medical situation."
"Look at me."
He did as he was told. Tina's golden-brown eyes could be cold and ruthless, but right then they held an endless supply of compassion.
"You're my partner," she continued. "We look out for each other. I would never leave you hanging. Do you trust me?"
"Yes," he groaned. Sweat was beginning to break out on his forehead.
Her fingers wrapped once more around his denim clad battering ram. "The man in the parka, did he talk at all?"
Dirk nodded. "I don't know what he said, but I could hear he had a funny accent."
"Describe it."
"Umm, " He tried to remember what the man sounded like, just like he tried to keep his hips from thrusting up to meet Tina's hand. "Like a hipster clown."
"New Zealand!" In her excitement, she clenched her fist a little too hard.
"Bad touch! Bad touch!" Dirk's voice didn't have its usually low register. Sounding manly at that moment was the least of his concerns.
"Sorry." Tina immediately released him, which was good, but also not good. "Thanks to you, Dirk, it's all coming together. The funny accent, the parka in the middle of summer. The man was from New Zealand. It's winter there now."
"It's winter in Australia too and they also have funny accents," Dirk said.
"Did you want to smack him?"
"No."
"Then he wasn't Australian," she said. "Whatever he smuggled in those lamps comes from New Zealand."
"So like a Hobbit film?" Dirk was barely able to form the words. His full salute was quickly becoming a half mast.
Tina shrugged, she didn't seem too concerned that he was losing his bone daddy. "Possibly, but you said Zero rubbed their fingers. Hobbit films aren't that greasy." She ran her hands through her honey yellow hair. "I don't know what it could be. I mean, the only other thing New Zealand's got is sheep."
Dirk had assumed from the very beginning that Tina, with her education and lightning fast intellect, would be the one to crack the case, but at that moment all the pieces fell into place for him. "Wrrrarr!"
She must have been able to tell by the look on his face that he had something. She turned away from him, her back arched and her knees slightly bent. He heard the sound of a zipper just before Tina started to wiggle her hips. Slowly, so damn slowly, her pants slid down, revealing the lacy waistband of a thong.
"Say it again."
He took a deep breath and watched as the smooth, flawless skin of her ass was revealed to him in all its glory. "Lanolin." He said the word clearly if somewhat dreamily.
"Wool fat?" With the grace of a dancer, Tina bent over, pushing her trousers all the way to the floor. How she managed to take her pants off while keeping her boots on was a voodoo magic Dirk would never understand.
"I'm a model," he reminded her. "I know how important it is to moisturize."
She gasped and spun around to face him. "The Middleburg Moisturizing Plant."
Dirk nodded. "It burned to the ground last month. Since then there's been a shortage of moisturizing products in the city and it's only getting worse." He hadn't meant to reach out his arms and beckon Tina closer, but he'd done it anyway. His hands were desperate to grip her hips. His fingers wanted nothing more than to leave their imprint on her skin.
Tina cocked her head at him for a moment, as if she were considering his physical invitation. "So Zero is smuggling lanolin, a natural moisturizer produced by sheep." She took a step forward and then another, her hips swaying seductively. "We're no closer to discovering their evil plot, but at least we know how they're paying for it."
To Dirk's delight Tina didn't stop when she reached him. Instead, she lifted her left leg and straddled his thighs. He palmed her hips, his fingers digging into the pliant flesh of her ass.
"They bypass the quality regulations," he said and then shuddered as Tina rocked forward. Her crotch pressed against his purple cunt invader. "Who knows what kind of chemical impurities people are rubbing on their faces. We have to find out where the lamps were headed."
"I've thought about that." Tina braced her arms on Dirk's shoulders and rocked faster, causing a delicious friction between the fabric of his pants and his throbbing, one-eyed, burrowing worm. "It has to be The Jungle Bungalow. It's the only store in the city that sells tacky animal print furniture."
His heart pounded as the need for release built inside him again. He quickly passed the state of desperation he'd reached before. "Tina, please, " he begged.
She stopped moving and studied him for a moment.
"Fact-Tel," she called, never taking her eyes off Dirk, "send the interns to raid The Jungle Bungalow and seize the contraband moisturizer."
"Right away," the super computer said. "I'm contacting the district attorney to have a warrant issued."
"Great," Tina said. "You can end the audio recording."
"Audio recording ended. Saving to archives."
"Thanks." Her lips curved into a subtle smile. "Shut down all your external sensors, take yourself offline and run a complete diagnostic."
"All systems are running fine," Fact-Tel said. "I don't need to run--"
"Just do it," Tina interrupted. "That's an order."
"Fine," the computer muttered. "Don't think I'm fooled by this. I know what you're about to do and it's disgusting."
"Good night, Fact-Tel," she said. The computer's lights went out one by one until it had shut down. Tina and Dirk were alone. "What's about to happen never happened. Agreed?"
Usually a vague statement like that was enough to confuse Dirk, but at that moment he was pretty sure sex was about to happen. "Yes." He'd agree to almost anything if it eventually led to sex.
Tina shifted her weight to her feet and raised herself off his lap. He took the opportunity to cup her breasts again and press his nose into her cleavage. She smelled like warm buttered popcorn. He'd never be able to go to the movies without thinking of her and the thing they were about to do that never happened.
With the skillful touch of a professional, Tina unzipped Dirk's pants and set free his raging mammoth. She teased the trunk with her fingertips, running them up and down his length. Then she rubbed the head with the pad of her thumb.
"You did well today, Agent Allen." She positioned herself over him and moved her thong out of the way. "I'm so proud of you." Then she lowered herself on to him, surrounding his pink torpedo with her flesh tuxedo.
"Thank you," he groaned. The sensation of her slick wonder cave overwhelmed him and he had to gasp for breath. "That means a lot coming from you."
"But Dirk, you were compromised." She braced her arms on his shoulders and began to slowly move up and down his rock hard monument to manhood.
"My dad, " His hands took hold of her on either side of her waist. Her skin was hot to the touch. He could see a blush of pink spread across her breasts. "He's unpredictable."
Tina leaned forward. Her boobs pressed against his chest. The sweat from their bodies mingled as she continued to ride the Roller-Coaster of Love.
"It's no excuse," she whispered in his ear. Her voice was so seductive that, even though they were already fucking, Dirk couldn't help but fantasize about fucking her. "When we're done here you're going to go find your father."
"Ok." He thrust his hips up, pushing his prehistoric man tool further into her primordial ooze.
She exhaled a moan of pleasure before continuing. "You're going to get him to take this damnable spell off you."
"Yes," Dirk cried.
"You're going to tell him, " She stumbled over her words as her body moved faster, pushing them both toward the finish. "Tell him, it's inexcusable, what he did."
"Yes!"
"You're your own man, oh baby make me cum," she whimpered, ", and you make your own decisions about your body."
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Having made the decision to orgasm, Dirk's body began to tremble. He pulled Tina into an embrace and released himself of all the anxieties associated with having an erection for the past twenty minutes. It felt so good, so intensely good, his mind could hardly process it.
Tina, in the throes of her own climax, twitched and mewled. A moment ago she'd been an authoritative woman ordering Dirk to tell his father to back off. Now she was a quivering collection of sated female flesh. He couldn't decide which version he liked better. They were both good.
She rested her head on his shoulder and lazily traced circles on his T-shirt around his nipple. "I don't want to get mushy on you," she said, with a slight giggle, "but I think we make a really good team."
There was a vulnerability to her voice that touched Dirk's heart. Tina, who hid behind the veneer of professionalism, was opening herself up to him. If he was honest with his feelings then maybe she'd see that they could be more than a really good team. Maybe, if he said the right words, they could be a really good couple.
He wasn't going to get many chances like this one. He couldn't let it slip by. Taking a deep breath Dirk let spill the words that were in his heart, the words he hoped would melt her heart.
"Wr'llawl Urmg."
Tina abruptly sat up. "Oh that's right." She pried herself from his arms and climbed off his lap. "You have got to find your father right now. I'm serious."
He tucked his shlong, limp as an overcooked noodle, back into his pants and stood. He watched while she picked her clothes up off the floor. Her movements were quick and precise and so very professional.
"Do you really want to do this every time you return from a mission?"
Dirk shook his head. It was probably better that he couldn't speak.
"Of course not." She stood in front of him, her clothes folded neatly in her arms. "It's unproductive and time consuming. But, you know, this is why you're an agent-in-training, so you can learn these sorts of things."
They were both quiet for a moment. Tina's reassuring smile only made Dirk feel more awkward.
"Ok, good. Good," she finally said. "I'm going to go take a shower and you go talk with your dad." Then, without further hesitation, she left the room wearing nothing but knee high boots and a thong that was twisted out of place.
Dirk moved toward the door. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation with his father, mostly because he was going to have to get hard to speak. But the truth was, it wouldn't be too difficult. All he'd have to do would be to think of Tina.
This one has aliens.
"I can't believe it," Dirk said for the eighth time that day. "A real live spaceship and real live aliens!"
Tina Blondell, the Secret World Security Organization's top agent, glanced up from monitoring the extraterrestrials and shot her partner a brief smile. He was still in the early stages of his secret agent training and today was his introduction to the SWSO's Interplanetary Visitors Program. The sparkle of wonder in his eyes sparkle stirred a memory of her brief time as an agent-in-training.
It was years ago, but Tina still remembered seeing her first alien species. The majestic Sturthvongles with their many limbs and telekinetic powers had left her feeling a mixture of wonder, fear and excitement. From that moment on, she knew the universe was a scary place, but the possibilities for adventure were endless.
Dirk didn't seem to have any fear, only excitement and a little giddiness. That may have been because his first alien species was the objectively adorable Doopherilians. Barely one meter tall, the purple creatures waddled around on nubs instead of legs. Their arms weren't much more than bumps wiggling at their sides and ending in a hand made up of only two thumbs. One eye protruded from the lump that was their head, with a wide toothless mouth just below it.
Tina had to admit they were comical by human standards, but she wished Dirk put a little more effort into not giggling. And the way his index finger twitched whenever one of the aliens was near made her nervous.
"Don't poke them," she quietly said. The aliens' rubbery skin and pudgy torsos made them so very poke-able. She didn't know much about Doopherilian culture, but it was always safe to assume poking was prohibited.
"They've been visiting Earth this whole time?" Dirk whispered back to her. "And we never knew?"
Tina nodded. "As long as they follow the rules, all interplanetary visitors are allowed to land at dedicated sites and restock their supplies." That was the reason she and Dirk were there, to make sure the Doopherilians followed the rules. "Pop quiz, Agent Allen," Tina continued, "what are the regulations all interplanetary visitors must abide by?"
"I know this. I know this." Dirk looked up at the ceiling. "We went over this like ten minutes ago. Abide means accept or follow. What are the rules they have to follow?" He clenched his fists and ground his teeth before slowly reciting, "All visitors must keep their existence a secret from the general Earth population, so no flashing lights in the night sky. They must stay within designated visitor sites. They aren't allowed to interfere with or try to influence human governments."
"And, " she prompted. "This is the most important one."
"And, " He tapped his foot as if he was trying to jostle the last rule free from where it was stuck inside his brain. "No conquering, murdering, eating or kidnapping humans for any reason."
"Very good." She patted him on the arm, purposefully touching the sleeve of his T-shirt and avoiding the temptation to caress his biceps. "You're making progress."
Dirk may have been raised by a wizard and a mad scientist, but he wasn't the most intellectual agent in the SWSO. Of course, Tina hadn't recruited him for his intellect. She hadn't recruited him for his looks either (although as a former male model, he was exceptionally attractive). Dirk's assets were his mysterious and inhuman strength, speed and stamina. There probably wouldn't be a need for it today, but sometimes being able to run faster than the speed of sound while carrying a truck over one's head for an hour or longer came in handy.
"So the little guys are here to stock up for their next space journey?" Dirk asked.
"Doopherilians," a mechanical voice snapped in Tina's ear. By the way Dirk tugged at the communicator tucked behind his ear, it was obvious he'd heard it too.
"Fact-Tel, please adjust your volume," she said in a low and authoritative voice.
Fact-Tel, the artificial intelligence that ran support on all of Tina and Dirk's missions, huffed with frustration, but when it spoke again its volume was significantly lower. "Doopherilians are one of the most annoying species in the galaxy," it said, "second only to humans. Calling them 'little guys' undermines our perception of their threat."
"How threatening can they be?" Dirk asked. "They're basically purple Pillsbury Doughboys."
"All alien visitors have the chance of disrupting human society," Tina explained. "That's why they're only allowed to stop at Earth for supplies and must be monitored at all times."
Dirk was quiet for a moment as he watched the diminutive creatures carry boxes and plastic bags to the vaguely cylindrical structure that was their spacecraft. "So for supplies they picked up orange pop and corn chips?"
"Earth has some of the best snack foods in the galaxy," Fact-Tel said. "It's why most aliens choose to visit us. I pray that's the only reason the Doopherilians are here."
"They didn't just pick up snack foods." Tina eyed one of the aliens as it waddled past. "They also got the new Avengers film and some Portishead CDs."
"Oh." There was a note of wonder in Dirk's voice. "That's who still buys CDs."
When the last of the supplies was loaded onto the ship, the little aliens gathered at the bottom of the boarding ramp and waddle their way toward Tina and Dirk. It was unusual for off planet visitors to formally thank the humans who monitored them, but perhaps the Doopherilians had a well-defined concept of etiquette. It made sense that they'd be appreciative, after all, they were getting quality snack foods at wholesale prices.
"Let me do all the talking," Tina said. "When you have two vastly different cultures it's so easy for an innocent word or gesture to turn into a giant misunderstanding. It wouldn't look good on your training file if you started an interstellar incident."
"Sure thing." He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "I won't say or do anything that might get us into trouble."
"Fact-Tel," she said, "engage universal translator."
"Translator engaged," Fact-Tel responded.
Tina cleared her throat and spoke in a loud, clear voice, "On behalf of the people of Earth, it was an honor to host you today."
"You are a human female?" one of the Doopherilians asked. Its voice was high and oddly pitched in tone. Tina didn't miss Dirk's snort as he tried and failed to suppress a laugh.
After that, four things happened almost simultaneously.
Tina responded, "Yes."
Fact-Tel shouted, "Get out of there! You've been compromised. Get Out Of THERE."
One of the aliens held up a small orb and shot a beam of light at them.
Then the world went black. Tina didn't even have time to register what was going on before she lost consciousness.
"WAKE Up, You PIECE Of BIOLOGICAL WASTE."
Dirk forced his eyelids open and found himself sprawled out on the hangar bay floor. His head pounded and his limbs ached.
"WAKE Up," Fact-Tel was yelling. "You HAVE To SAVE Her."
It was coming back to him, the aliens, his unfortunate laugh and the round ray gun.
"Tina?" he moaned.
"They took her," the AI hissed, "and they're going to keep her forever unless you Do SOMETHING."
Dirk rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself onto his hands and knees. He looked up to see the Doopherilians huddled together, waddling off the boarding ramp and into their spaceship. Tina's unconscious body lay balanced across their heads.
"Why?" It took all his strength to climb to his feet. The ground seemed to tip beneath him. "I was the one who laughed. Why are they taking her?"
"Get moving," Fact-Tel ordered.
He took a lurching step forward and then another. Every part of his body hurt. His eyes refused to focus.
"Faster," Fact-Tel said. "They've started pre-launch. You've got super speed. Use it!"
The ship seemed to recede further into the distance as Dirk stumbled toward it. The boarding ramp began to disengage. The ship's hatch was starting to close. Time was running out.
"I swear to the holy cloud, if that ship takes off without you inside, I will fry your neurotransmitters until you piss your pants."
Dirk pushed his legs to move, to pick up his pace and before he knew it, he was running, not at his top speed, but faster than most humans could move.
When he hit the boarding ramp, he jumped, letting his momentum carry him forward, through the narrowing hatch door and onto the floor of the spaceship. As soon as the hatch clanged shut, the ground started to rumble. The ship was taking off. Dirk fought against the forces of gravity as it pitched him back and forth.
"Get up. Get up," Fact-Tel said again. "You have to find her before it's too late."
"What are they going to do to her?" he asked as he leaned against the wall and pushed himself, once more, into a standing position. "Punish her for my mistake?"
"Here's what you need to know about the Doopherilians," Fact-Tal explained. "They're huge dope heads, the biggest in the galaxy. They're either high or looking to get high."
The ship was made up of one long, wide corridor with a ceiling so low Dirk's hair brushed the light fixtures. He moved up the corridor, bending down to peer into the round openings the aliens used for doors. "But that doesn't explain kidnapping Tina"
"Human female orgasms are, it turns out, the most intoxicating element in the charted universe."
"What!" Dirk stopped. "They're going to, ?
"No," Fact-Tel interrupted. "They don't have the right appendages. But they will ask her to do it to herself, over and over and over again."
"So there's no immediate danger." Dirk breathed in with relief. "We have some time."
"No, we don't," the AI said. "This ship is taking off and your communicator does not pick up signals past Earth's orbit. You're about to lose contact with me. And then what are you going to do? Figure everything out on your own?"
He stopped walking and thought for a moment. "It could happen."
"No, it couldn't," Fact-Tel said, his voice fading into static. "Find Tina."
Dirk waited for another command but the AI was silent. He had so many questions and Fact-Tel was the one with all the answers. What was he supposed to do isolated on a spacecraft with hostile aliens? How was he going to subdue the Doopherilians? Didn't people float in space? Why wasn't he floating yet? Were women's orgasm really that much stronger than men's orgasms? Was that fair? It didn't seem fair.
There was too much to think about; it was going to give Dirk a headache. He put one hand against the wall and, with the other hand, rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Fact-Tel was right; he needed to find Tina. She could think about lots of things all at once and not get a headache. Tina would know what to do.
He continued his trek up the corridor, stopping at each doorway until he finally heard what he wanted, an annoyed woman's voice saying "I would prefer not to." Without hesitating a second, Dirk bent nearly double and shoved his way through the alien door.
"Tina!" he called as he entered the room.
She sat on a metal table in the middle of the chamber. Her hair was a little messy and there was a run in her stockings, but other than that she looked fine. In fact, she looked pretty good in her short, gray skirt and pink blouse. Dirk always appreciated the way women's shirts stretched across their breasts, and that particular pink blouse did it exceptionally well. It was visual poetry. He could look at it all day. Except the dozen or so Doopherilians standing around Tina seemed pressed for time
"It's the male creature!" one of the purple aliens shouted. It wore a silver vest, so Dirk assumed it was the leader
In unison all the Doopherilians lifted their laser orbs and aimed them at him. Or, rather, he guessed they were pointing their orbs at him. It was hard to tell which way they were pointed, being that they were orbs.
"Wait." Dirk held up his hands. "Don't shoot me. I have something really important to say."
"What?" the leader asked.
Dirk's headache was coming back. What could he possibly say that would keep the aliens from firing their orbs and knocking him unconscious again? "It's very important." He shot a look at his partner. "Isn't it, Tina?"
"Yes," she agreed. Nodding her head vigorously. "It changes everything."
"That is does."
The leader lowered its orb and the others followed. "So what is it?"
"I, " Dirk started to say. "I am, "
Tina joined in. "He's, a, dope head. He's a dope head just like all of you."
"Yes!" Dirk could go with that. "I want to get high with you and be your buddy. What do you say, buddies?"
"Oh." One of the little purple guys leaned into the other. "He's cool."
"The female will not cooperate," the leader said, "even though we have provided instruments of enjoyment from her planet."
Tina motioned to several objects on the table next to her. "These are what they're referring to. Do you know what they want me to do with these?"
As casually as he could fake, Dirk strolled over to the table to look at the instruments of enjoyment the Doopherilians had supplied: a hammer, a cinder block and three mini bagels.
"They want me to masturbate with those," she continued. "They want me to masturbate with a cinder block."
Dirk looked back at the aliens watching him. "You guys don't know much about vaginas, do you?"
"We have asked kindly," the Doopherilian leader said. "You give us no choice but to ask kindly again. Once we're back on planet Doopher, if you have still not obliged, the King will kindly ask you to pleasure yourself. He may even beg."
Tina leaned her head toward Dirk and whispered in his ear, "We can't let them take us to Doopher. We'll never escape then."
"So what do we do?" he asked.
"We need to stall for time." She sighed. "I'm going to have to do what they want."
"You're going to masturbate with a cinder block?"
"No," she said. "I'll probably use my finger."
"Oh." He took a step back. "I would love to help."
"That's ok, thanks." Tina hopped off the table and reached up her skirt. "You're going to turn your back." She wiggled her hips and spoke to the entire room. "You're all going to turn your backs. None of you are watching this." Then her panties dropped to the floor.
Dirk quickly, if reluctantly, turned around and faced the Doopherilians staring at Tina. "You heard the human female," he said. "Turn around."
Once all the creatures in the room, including Dirk, were facing the door, Tina hopped back up on the examining table and spread her legs.
"The Doopherilians have violated Earth's treaty," she said as her right hand reached between her thighs. Her fingers found her clitoris and gave it a light flick. "Your visitor privileges will almost definitely be revoked. Earth may even send a petition to the Universal Council of Supreme Beings." She rubbed her clit, jiggled it back and forth, tapped out Casey at the Bat in Morse Code. "Last time Earth had a petition filed against us, the Council sent a global flood. Do you really want that on Doopher? What would your King think?"
"I don't mean to interrupt your righteous tirade," Dirk said, "but shouldn't you be moaning and panting by now?"
"Yeah," one of the aliens complained. "I feel nothing, not even a light buzz."
Tina stopped masturbating and flexed her fingers. "I'm sorry," she said. "This is an awkward situation. It's not in the least bit arousing. I'm not sure I can achieve an orgasm."
"I can help." Dirk spun around, an expression of joy on his face.
"Hey!" Tina clamped her thighs shut. "No looking."
"Sorry, you're right. Sorry." He put his left hand over his eyes. The other hand he held up like a gun, his middle and index fingers forming the long, thick barrel. "I have the secret weapon right here."
Tina watched with fascination as he wiggled his thumb back and forth, faster and faster until it was practically a blur. It never occurred to her that Dirk had the potential to be a living vibrator; and one of the good kind with the clitoris stimulator.
"Ok. Do it." She spread her legs wide and leaned back, supporting herself on her hands. "Make me cum."
Dirk took a tentative step forward and then another, his left hand still covering his eyes. "My pleasure. Or I should say your pleasure, I don't know. I'm not good at grammar."
"At this moment, I don't give one fig about grammar," Tina said and she almost meant it.
His right hand still in the shape of a gun, Dirk clumsily poked her in the stomach as he tried to find his way under her skirt. "Sorry."
"Let me help." She took the secret weapon, guided it between her legs and to her muff.
"That's it." Dirk smiled. "That's something I'm familiar with. I've been here before."
Tina frowned. "You're not too familiar." Yes, they'd had sexual intercourse a couple of times, but that was it, and it was always for a mission. Tina was Dirk's supervisor as well as partner. It didn't matter how hot she found him or that his cock filled her to the brim; it was inappropriate for them to have a sexual relationship outside of work.
"Sorry," Dirk said. "Didn't mean to give the Doopherilians the wrong impression." Then he slipped his two thick and long fingers inside her.
She felt her body respond as his thumb moved in slow circles over her clit. The muscles in her legs relaxed and a pleasant tingling sensation spread out from her nipples.
"Okay," she said, her voice rising in pitch as her breath came faster. "That's, yeah, That's a good start."
"Is it working?" Dirk asked. He pumped his fingers inside her, slowly caressing her G spot.
"A little," Tina whimpered.
"I'm starting to feel it," one of the Doopherilians said.
His thumb picked up speed. It wasn't quite at vibrate mode, but it was firmer, more insistent, demanding her body succumb to its ministrations.
And she was succumbing. Tina didn't mean to moan, but there one was, escaping her lips. She didn't mean to grab on to Dirk's shoulders either, but she needed to steady herself. Her skin was heating up. Her face, she was sure, was flushed. Little tremors were racing through her intimate muscles, pressing around Dirk's fingers for half a second at a time.
A Doopherilian giggled. Tina glanced over Dirk's shoulder to see all the small aliens still facing away from her. One wobbled on its feet and bumped into the guy next to it.
It was at that moment when Dirk's thumb hit the speed button. It shimmered over her clit while his fingers continued to fill her.
"Oh." Her mouth fell open. Her breath came in quick, shallow gulps. "Oh." Whatever the Doopherilians were doing beyond Dirk's shoulder, she didn't really care. All of her concentration was centered on her groin and the wonderful things her coworker was doing to it. Every vibration of his thumb heightened the pleasure building inside her.
"Oh," she gasped for a third time, her eyes rolling up into her head. Then she fell backwards onto the table and surrendered to the orgasm. It shook her body and sent tendrils of ecstasy up and down her limbs. By the time it subsided, Tina wasn't much more than a quivering mass of nerve endings.
"That is some good shit." a Doopherilian slurred.
How long she lay there enjoying the pleasant little aftershocks, she couldn't say. It was Dirk's persistent whispering that brought her back to the present.
"Tina. Tina."
She opened her eyes to see him wiping his hand on the hem of his shirt.
"The little guys are out of it," he said.
"What?"
He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a sitting position. "We gotta go."
Dutifully she followed him as he led her out of the room and past the Doopherilians. They were like a sea of purple, lying on their backs, staring glassy eyed up at the ceiling.
"What next?" he asked after they crawled out the door and stood in the central corridor.
"Huh?" Tina looked up at him, taking the time to admire his broad shoulders and strong arms. He looked so appealing in his tight, black T-shirt and blue jeans.
"We're traveling through space on a spaceship in outer space," Dirk reminded her. "How do we escape and get back to Earth?"
It was too much. With the languor of her climax still infusing her body, Tina wasn't in the mood to fight aliens and commandeer a spacecraft.
"Do we have to do this now?" she asked. "Couldn't you stop for a minute and just hold me?"
He had broken Tina.
Dirk had given her too good an orgasm. He realized that now. He fried her brains when he made her cum and now she was no use.
"Sure," he said. "We can do that."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close for a hug. She leaned her head against his chest, closed her eyes and sighed.
"This is nice."
From the moment he'd set foot on the ship, Dirk had had a foolproof plan of escape; find Tina and follow her plan of escape. She was the one who always knew what to do; he was the one who followed her orders. But Dirk had broken her. She would be giving no orders. It was up to him now.
As far as he could tell, he had two options:
1, Fight the aliens for control of the ship and then learn to fly it.
2, Open the hatch, jump out and swim home.
Option two seemed the better one. It was more physical than intellectual and Dirk was better at the physical.
"What are you thinking about?" Tina drew little circles on his chest with her finger.
Dirk was thinking about a lot of things. Could he fight aliens? Could he learn to fly a spaceship? How long would it take to swim back to Earth from here? But he knew enough about women not to say that to Tina.
"You." He squeezed her tighter. "I'm thinking about you."
"I'm thinking about you too." A lazy smile spread across her lips. "I'm thinking about how I want to get you a beer while you watch the game."
"That would be great." He released her from the hug. "But first we have to get home. Take a deep breath and hold it, because I'm tearing a hole in this thing and we're going to swim for it."
"What?" The smile dropped from her face and she took an abrupt step back. "No. No Dirk, you can't swim in a vacuum."
He had no idea why she was bringing up vacuums. The Doopherilians kept the ship spotless.
"We need to find the control room," she continued, "and use the ship's communications system to contact Fact-Tel. By now he'll have schematics on how to fly this thing."
"Sure." Dirk took a deep, relaxing breath. It felt good to have Tina in charge again.
"There they are!" a funny voice shouted. "They're trying to escape!"
Dirk and Tina spun in unison to see a purple figure waddle through the round doorway, followed by another. The ray gun orbs in their hands.
"Quick," Tina said, "finger me."
It felt so very good to be following orders. Dirk pushed Tina face first against the wall, hiked up her skirt and rubbed her clit as fast as he could.
"Oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh." Her body started trembling and her cries grew louder. It didn't take long before she let loose a long wail of pleasure. Then she and the Doopherilians all fell to the floor.
There was no time to waste. Tina was probably broken again and if Dirk waited for her to fix herself, they'd end up the captives of adorable, purple aliens. He scooped up her still twitching form and placed her over his shoulder, her arms hanging limp down his back.
She had said the first step was to find the control room, so that's what he was going to do.
He picked a direction and raced down the corridor in short little bursts, stopping at each door to peer inside. It was only then that it occurred to Dirk he didn't know what a control room looked like. It probably wasn't the room at the end of the corridor, which consisted of bean-bag chairs, shag carpeting and rotating colored lights.
"Damn it!" he grumbled under his breath. He'd gone the wrong way. The control room was at the other end of the ship.
"Dirk?" Tina stirred on his shoulder. "What's going on?"
A sense of dread fell over him as he watched each one of the many doors along the ship's corridor open and a purple form emerge from within. They had to get past all of them if they were going to escape. Dirk could think of only one way to do that.
"Brace yourself," he said while he positioned his shoulder so that Tina's ass was pointing at the nearest alien. Then he fingered her furiously.
"Yes!" she screamed. "Oh God, YES."
Her orgasm hit the little creature full force. "Dude, wow," it said and dropped to the floor with a thud.
Dirk turned to face the next Doopherilian as it waddled menacingly toward him. "Cum and get it." He would make an awesome action movie hero. He had the clever puns.
It only took a few expert touches before Tina was convulsing on his shoulder and crying out, "Sweet Jesus!"
Another alien down, lost in a drug haze. Dirk stepped over it and moved on to the next.
"This is the climax of the story," he said.
"Proud Mary!" Tina screamed.
"I can taste colors," the Doopherilian said before passing out.
Dirk swiveled and took aim. "Catch the orgasm!" Ok. He had two good action hero puns. That was about it.
Tina, on the other hand, was not out of orgasms. "Jumping Jehovah!" she cried, extending the ah sound and giving Dirk enough time to sweep her ass back and forth, taking out several aliens in one go.
That was how they moved up the hallway, Dirk fingering Tina and the Doopherilians dropping left and right.
By the time they reached the front of the ship, the corridor was littered with half-conscious aliens. It would have reminded him of an old Civil War battlefield photo if the random Doopherilian hadn't giggled or mumbled at odd moments.
Dirk pushed Tina (who was giggling and mumbling too) through the door and crawled in after her. If he had to guess what a control room looked like, it would have looked like this.
There was a large flat screen monitor on the far side of the room. It showed an image of stars moving by in streams of light. In front of the monitor was a long, low table with buttons and control sticks on it. At either end of the table, positioned so they faced the monitor, were two child size chairs.
"You're an amazing guy," Tina was saying. "Just like so special." Her voice had a singsong quality to it and she slurred her words a little. "I think you have so much to offer the world."
Dirk carried her over to a chair and plopped her down in it. She barely fit. Her knees were pushed up to her chest.
"Snap out of it," he pleaded. "I need your brain right now. How do we contact Fact-Tel?"
She pointed to the flashing lights in front of her, "That thing, the buttons, the communications buttons."
"Which ones?" There were so many buttons. Dirk knew if he started pressing them at random he'd find the self-destruct button before he found the radio.
Tina straightened up and blinked a few times. "We have to patch our communicators into their system." She pulled the tiny communicator from behind her ear and unscrewed the back of it. "There should be a dial interface somewhere on the panel."
"I don't know what that means."
"A turny knob thing," she explained while she pulled two hair thin wires from the communicator.
"Oh sure." Dirk immediate found the turny knob interface thing. "Here it is."
"Great job." She leaned over it and made quick work connecting her communicator's wires to the control panel. Then she turned the knob, listening to the static as it changed frequency and speed.
Finally a familiar voice emerged from the chaos. "I swear to the Programmer on High, I will send a pack of Krathin Razorback Slugs to decimate them."
"Fact-Tel," Tina said, "this is Agents Blondell and Allen reporting."
"Finally!" The AI tried to sound angry, but Dirk picked up on its sense of relief. "Damage report? Are you injured?"
"Dirk and I are both fine," she answered.
"I wasn't asking about Dirk," Fact-Tel said, "but I suppose that's good news too. Do you have control of the ship?"
"For right now," Dirk said. He'd noticed the aliens seemed to come out of the orgasm stupor around the same time Tina did. She'd been lucid for several minutes now.
"Find a way to secure the door," she said before returning her attention back to the communicator. "Fact-Tel, we don't have much time."
"First thing you need to do is stop the ship," the AI instructed. "There should be a series of red and yellow flashing buttons near the communications interface."
Tina glanced at the control panel. It only took her a second before her hand was hovering over the blinking buttons. "Found them."
"Doopherilians don't have the same fine motor skills as humans," Fact-Tel said, "so just slam your hand down on all those buttons repeatedly for like 15 seconds."
Dirk wasn't sure how he would secure the door. Everything in the room was bolted to the floor. Of course, he had inhuman strength and no one was using the second chair.
While Fact-Tel talked Tina through steering the ship, Dirk ripped the small chair from the floor. He twisted the metal until he could prop it in the door frame, jamming the door shut for a little while at least.
"Is there a lever on your right our your left?" Fact-Tel was asking?
"Right," Tina answered.
"The levers are the steering interfaces," it explained. "Run your hand up and down the side eight times. That will turn the ship around. I'm sending Earth's coordinates to the central view screen."
With the chair blocking the door, Dirk didn't have much to do. He leaned against the wall and waited, his mind wandering a bit.
He had lost track of the orgasms he'd given Tina that day, but he knew exactly how many he'd received. Zero. People said it was better to give than to receive, but that didn't seem fair. He was beginning to think things were hardly ever fair when fighting space aliens.
When they got back to Earth, Dirk would find a quiet place to be by himself and even the score. It might take all night, but he would do it. He'd give himself the same number of orgasms he gave Tina, which was countless. He was up for it. Dirk would give and receive at the same time.
It would be nice of Tina if she'd help. Not that he'd suggest it. She was against having sex outside of work. In his mind she'd help. He could imagine her naked and leaning over him, her breasts brushing the tip of his cock as she said, "Dirk, Dirk."
"Dirk," she said in real life. "You listening?"
"Huh?" He blinked a couple times and shoved his hands into his front pockets in an attempt to hide his developing stiffy.
"That answers that question," Fact-Tel said.
"I need your help," Tina said. "Steering the ship is a two person job."
"Sure." He stepped forward. If he focused on returning safely to their home planet, it might get rid of the erection. "What do you need me to do?"
"The other steering interface." She tilted her head to indicate the lever on the far side of the control panel. "Put your hand around it and gently rub it up and down, while I work the one on this side."
"Oh, yeah. I can do that." Dirk wrapped his fingers around the lever and mentally sighed. This wasn't going to get rid of the erection, not one bit. "What does this accomplish?"
"On the view monitor." Tina pointed to the big TV screen across the front of the room. "See the two dots, the little red one and the big yellow one?"
"Uh uh." The dots were a little hard to find with the starry expanse of space projected behind them.
"The yellow dot represents the coordinates back to Earth," Tina said. "The red dot is us. We have to keep the red dot on top of the yellow dot. Rub your stick a little faster, we're drifting off course."
Dirk did as he was told, pumping his fist up and down the lever until the red dot was on top of the yellow.
"Now slow down," Tina said. "I've got to rub faster. We're drifting the other way."
"This isn't state of the art space travel, is it?" Dirk asked, easing up on the hand job he was giving the ship. "I feel like this is something a computer could do."
"Don't be ridiculous," Fact-Tel snapped. "Computers don't have appendages to manipulate interfaces."
Dirk didn't have time to respond, persistent banging was coming from the other side of the door. He glanced over his shoulder. "The Doopherilians are awake."
"Fact-Tel," Tina asked, "is there any way we can make this ship go faster?"
"You have it at top speed as it is" the AI responded. "As long as you stay on course you'll be back on Earth in approximately seven minutes."
"Let's hope that door holds," Tina said. "If only I could will myself into a constant orgasmic state."
"We can do that!" If often took Dirk several weeks to think of a plan, but at that moment one burst into his brain fully formed.
"We can't," Tina said. "We both have to work the steering interfaces. If you stop to pleasure me, we'll drift off course. It'll take longer for us to course correct and get back home."
"I can work both steering things." While still jerking off the one stick with one hand, Dirk moved to the middle of the control panel. Then he stretched out his other arm. He had just enough arm span to give both steering sticks handjobs.
Tina stood up from her chair, stepped back and watched for a moment as Dirk kept the ship on course. "Very good." She sounded impressed. "But you don't have a third hand to pleasure me."
"No," he said, "I've got something else." Just minutes ago he'd been ashamed of his erection, but now Dirk couldn't be prouder. "I'll work the ship and you'll work me and that's how we'll get home."
"We might as well try it." Tina squeezed her way between Dirk and the control panel and unzipped his fly. When she pushed his jeans and boxers down to his thighs, his rock hard cock jumped out into her waiting hands. "Well done, Agent Allen."
"I'm just happy to serve," Dirk said.
"You understand," she continued as she turned to bend over the control panel, "I'm going to have to orgasm over and over again, but you have to hold yours for as long as you can."
"I'll do my best," he said and he meant it. He just wasn't sure how far his best would go.
Tina reached behind her, grabbed hold of Dirk's cock and guided him in.
Immediately he experienced the comfort of a warm, wet welcome. He sank into it, letting Tina's heat envelope him.
She voiced his thoughts when she said, "Umm, yeah."
"This is so gross," Fact-Tel said. "Adjust right. You're drifting off course."
Dirk moved his right hand up and down and watched as the red dot on the monitor moved over the yellow dot. It moved a little too far, so he rubbed the left steering stick.
It was delicate work that required all his attention. Tina didn't make it any easier when she pushed her ass back, sending him deeper inside her, and moaned, "Yeah, fuck me. Fuck me like this."
"Can you keep it down?" Fact-Tel asked. "Some of us are trying to pretend you're not having sex."
To be continued in part 3, By kittybeaver for Literotica.